I just turned thirty and for the first time in years I actually feel like this birthday means something. It seems that a change has been brewing in me for some time and turning thirty has led to a few conversations with other women that have enabled me to see and digest that change.

To sum it up: my values are more defined and are, to a greater extent, shaping the way I live my life.

I’m experienced enough to see how delicate and fleeting life is. And I’ve seen how much people need each other. Being selfish, self-conscious, or vain is a waste of time and energy and, if taken to an extreme, will make you feel isolated.

Love isn’t an emotion – it’s a set of behaviors. People share their love when they stand by you, support you, listen to you. Love is chicken soup when you’re sick. Love is dependable, honest, kind, and loyal. It might tell you things you don’t want to hear (like an uncomfortable truth) but it will never turn its back on you or shut you out. Love is the most precious thing in life.

It’s okay to try and fail. Trust and honor the people who are there to help you start over and prepare yourself to return the favor. Everyone has to start over every now and then.

Life is unfair and unpredictable. Everyone has a story of loss or heartache. Rather than being overwhelmed by an existential crisis, embrace the nature of life and allow it to make you kinder to your fellow man. See beyond yourself and realize that when it feels like the whole world is against you – it’s not – and you always have the power to help yourself and others.

Self-care is crucial. In our busy lives the first thing we tend to neglect is ourself. We do it in small ways that are unnoticeable at first: maybe we’re not eating as healthy as we want, too busy to exercise today, not enough time to read that book you’ve been looking forward to. But neglecting ourselves can become a habit that becomes the norm. It is important to find down time when one can be alone with their thoughts, to examine ourselves, and become aware of goals we are sabotaging.

Balance in life is achieved just as it is on a rope: with wiggles, uncertainty, and constant back-and-forths. The key to balance is to keep looking forward.